Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
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Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
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i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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