just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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