You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
