party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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