I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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