so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
