i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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