you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
