i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I still have a little drunk in my system
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
