I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
