Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize