Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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