Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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