If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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