His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
