In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
two words: eviction party
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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