do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
