We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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