My hand turned me down
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
