Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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