The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
