You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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