Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize