Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize