and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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