I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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