oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
