I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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