I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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