I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize