im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
