i need an iv and a liver transplant
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
