hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
