Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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