I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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