maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
