I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
