whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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