After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize