Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
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When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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