DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
