great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize