Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
