He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
