I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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