ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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