Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
