Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We left an ass print on the piano.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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