Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
