I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
