I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
