so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
