Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
