worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
