New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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