I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
