im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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