4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
